Monday, December 26, 2011

Helping Mom

Mom's still a little busy getting things back in order after Christmas company but I told her my friends would think I had run away or something and I really, really, really had to post some little something to let them all know I am still here.

I got stuff, lots of stuff.  Oh and the best part of all was the HAM and broccoli! I do love me some ham! Of course I didn't turn my nose up at the broccoli and cheese either.  OMD I also got pie, can you believe it?! Yep, Mom cut me a big ole piece of custard pie, it was so yummy. I'm gonna go snuggle up with her in a minute and see if I can't con her out of another piece of that yummy ham. Shouldn't be too hard I haven't seen the woman without food in her hands or mouth for about three days now. I'm really not buying her story that she has to taste what she cooks to make sure it is OK to serve. At this rate she won't be able to get off that couch at all in a day or two. It's already getting hard to tell the difference between her and those big fluffy pillows on the couch. She's probably going to need a food intervention.

I helped Mom a little today while she was straightening up, ignore her if she tells you I was mostly in the way.  I have no idea why she would think that.

First I was tidying up my play room...

Uh Mom...I think my toy fell....

Checking to see if the coffee table needs cleaning...

Yep, found something on the end table....good thing she has me to help her, she might have missed this....

Better check again, just to be sure....

Think I got it all....

Now for the cedar chest....

Nothing here....

Might as well move on to something else....

On second thought all this cleaning has made me tired....think I'll just take a little nap.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Addiction. It's Not Pretty.

I haven't really seen my Mom since she bought the evil phone. Well, I have seen her, but from a distance, because that stupid phone lights up like downtown New York and she keeps pointing it in my direction. I get that she likes the new mega camera in it but she could take pictures of the floor or anything else, why always me and Tucker? Ole' Turdley doesn't care but we all know he is of lower intelligence so his opinion doesn't really count in my book.

These were the first pictures she took of me, before I knew what the Flash Monster was capable of doing to me.

This is what I do every time I see her pick up that phone now, before that silly flash even goes off. I even do it if she just picks the phone up to move it or answer it.

This is what Turdley Tucker does. Yeah, the dim dummy poses!

Oh my pugs! I almost forgot to tell you about the most wonderful thing I discovered last night. Heavenly, I tell you! I never, ever bother things sitting on tables, unlike some Chihuahua that will remain nameless, because I can't even bring myself to type his name again. So I have to say I rather shocked Mom with this behavior. I guess when people say Coke is a powerful drug they know what they are talking about. I know it has me in it's grip on me and won't let go. I am now a full fledged junkie. I'm not proud of it but we all have our crosses to bear, I guess this one is mine.

The beginning of my addiction, seeking my drug.

The deal is made.

I score.

This is your pug on Coke!

It begins to take effect.

There I am passed out in the gutter. OK, well maybe it isn't quite a gutter, more like the couch. But you get my point.

Don't Do Drugs!!!!

Sunday, December 18, 2011

All Hope is Lost

I knew it was going to happen. The woman has no will power. But like all things you don't enjoy I tried to ignore it, hoping against hope that I would NOT have to go through this horrible event again. But this morning soon after I woke up, and ate of course, Mom left the house rudely leaving me behind. About an hour later I hear the car and run for the window. Sure enough there was my Mom getting out of the car all smiley faced with a bag in her hand. As soon as she hit that car alarm on the remote I start to howl and scream as I usually do. The woman has no sense of direction so I feel it my duty to make a lot of noise so she can follow my voice to get to the front door. As soon as she gets  to the door I start body slamming the door to let her know she is close. I am rather proud of her though, she managed to only drop the keys twice this time trying to unlock the door. I was excited, I mean it could be something for me after all, but that grin on her face made me more than a little suspicious. She settles in, takes the "what should be my package" to the couch with her, still with that blank grinning fool look on her face. Then she opens the box. My heart sank, it's going to be a repeat of that cold winter night a year ago....a night when I was totally abandoned, left on my own for hours, ignored....a night that took me weeks to recover from.

She has bought herself a new cell phone! I say: "But Mom it looks just like the other one"...she says "no it doesn't, this one has a 4.5 inch screen on it, two cameras, flash, it's 4G with LTE and it has gorilla glass!" It doesn't take much to please the simple minded. Wait...hold on a damn minute! Did she just say "gorilla"?!!! It's bad enough we have to live with Tucker, we don't need a stupid monkey here too. A visit once in a while from the ex louse is all the gorilla we need around here. Oh hell to the no! What is this?! The Boy got a new one too?!

Prepare for the worse puggy friends because he got rid of his beloved iPhone and has gone to the dark side of Android with Mom. He has always said "it will be a cold day in hell" or "the end of the world" before he switched from iPhone to Android. We now have to assume the end is near. I am gathering up my treats and stuffies just in case.

So I am in for a lonely evening, sitting on the couch watching Mom plays with that phone. I will give out long sighs, give her the sad eye, then the stank eye, fart a few times to draw her attention my way and whine. I'm pretty sure I am going to drop a glitter log on the Christmas tree skirt again too. So what if I can't say "Droid Does", that makes me no less important.

If that gorilla shows up you will hear me pug screaming in protest in all points north, east, south and west of me. Quite possibly in Canada and Europe too.

I am loving all my Christmas cards that have been coming in from all over, I just love my doggy friends!

I have more Mom is putting up tonight, or at least she was before the cell phone showed up.
Look what my friend Gracie sent me! Isn't that just the cutest thing, EVER?  Mom was so excited she couldn't even wait to put it on the tree before taking a picture of it.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Tragedy for the Houston Pittie Pack

The Houston Pittie Pack suffered an unimaginable tragedy early this morning. A fire claimed the lives of Guero, Coco Chanel, Tiger, Lucky and Shelby. Their humans and two more of the pack were able to reach safety.

Sweet Shelby

Miss Coco Chanel

Handsome Guero

Precious Lucky

Adorable Tiger

Run Free Sweet Angels!

Pauley James and Coco-The Princess are hosting a chip in on their pages to help with any costs the family may have.  Pip and Coco-The Princess are also hosting a comment-a-thon on their blogs tomorrow. They will donate 50 cents to the family for every comment posted. Please stop by their blogs and leave a comment.

My Award!!!

My friend Dachshund Nola gave me these awards and I love them, and her. Have you guys seen Nola? She is about the cutest Doxie you will ever meet, you must visit her blog.  The best part about these awards is I get to pass them on too my other doggy friends too. How cool is that?

The first part of these awards is to tell you 10 things about me that you don't know.

1.   I hate having my nails trimmed with the fire of a thousand suns!

2.   When they went to pick me out at the breeder they actually picked out another pug first, a boy, but I was having no part of it, I latched on to Mom's pant leg and wouldn't let go. She was trying to walk and dragging me at the same time. The breeder got me and put me back in the baby pen with my brothers and sisters. While Mom is talking to the breeder I climbed over that pen wall and headed straight for My Boy who was sitting in the floor playing with my pug Mom and Dad. The breeder said that was the first time I had ever climbed out. They came back to visit "their pug puppy" for the next three weeks until we were old enough to go to our new homes. Every time they came I was the one that ran to them first and refused to leave their side. Mom thought about it and decided it was meant to be, so she called the breeder and told her she wanted me instead. My pug brother that she had picked out was cute and all, but he wasn't ME. It was ME they brought home. She also found out later that all my brothers and sisters acted like our pug Mom, very calm and well behaved. I on the other hand am the only one that took after my pug Dad and am a handful. She also thinks it funny that at the first visit to pick out which pug she wanted she whispered to My Boy and said "I hope the one we get doesn't act like the father".

3.   I was the only silver pug out of my litter of six.  The rest were all fawn.

4.   I hate loud noises but I like thunder and lightening fascinates me.

5.   I would slit your throat with a spork for a taste of peanut butter.

6.   I love to play in water puddles, love to jump in the tub when Mom is bathing, but I hate to take a bath. It's just different somehow.

7.   I like to watch the weather channel on TV, it calms me for some reason. I'm also a reality TV junkie like      my Mom, I will watch it for hours.

8.   I am very well behaved when my humans are eating any food, I never beg or try to steal their food like Tucker does.

9.   I hate wearing my harness.

10.  I have an very small umbilical hernia that is going to be repaired after Christmas.

Now the next part of this award is to pass it on to five of your friends but you can't pass it to the doggy friend who gave it to you. 

I pass these awards to:

This is too hard!  To hell with it, I pass these awards to all my friends!  Just copy and paste or save the awards and add it to your page!

A big thank you to Dachshund Nola for these wonderful awards!

Invasion of Privacy and Obscene Pictures

I was laying on the couch last night, just minding my own business and the next thing I know Mom has taken these pictures of my nap. She got smarter this time and made the shutter sound on the camera quiet. She knows I am up and in her face at the first click. The lighting is bad because she also knows if she had turned on a light that would have woke me up too and her phone doesn't have flash. I know, right? Who buys a phone and doesn't realize the camera has no flash?  I will cut her some slack since she bought the phone a couple months before my beauty came to live here and up until then she didn't take many pictures with the phone. She says she will most definitely correct the situation with her next upgrade. Anyway, back to these pictures Mom took. I was laying in her lap when I fell asleep, obviously you can tell how comfy I was. She scooted me off a little, claims her legs went to sleep. I am a skinny pug so I am pretty sure that was just an excuse to invade my privacy. I may have to hire someone to protect my privacy if she is going to do this kind of thing while I am asleep. This is her second offense with this same subject in a week and I am pretty sure there is a law against taking obscene pug pictures without the pug's express written permission.

Note from Lola's Mom: Lola had fallen asleep on my lap and contrary to what she believes she really did make both legs fall asleep so I had gently moved her off my lap so I wouldn't wake her up. I was sitting cross legged, Indian style so you will see part of my knee in the pics. She always twists in so many different pictures while sleeping and this time I decided to snap a picture each time she did. These were taken over a 2 hour time frame. How is it even possible that this is comfortable? In the second picture if you look closely at her head you will see part of a green candy wrapper I dropped on her head, I knew if I tried to get it she would wake up so I just left it.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Stop Disturbing My Sleep!

Yep, I am under there! All snuggly warm.

I'm a little sleepy today, I get this way sometimes, just want to take a day for myself and snooze. It's not easy being the one in the house that has to make sure things run smoothly and sometimes you just get burn out. You like that phrase "burn out"?  I got that from Mom she use to say that about the emergency room all the time. I love learning new words just like Mom says she learns a lot of new words from the Pug Sluts but then she tells me to cover my ears and to NEVER to use those words. I don't get that, it must be a Pug Slut thing.
Anyway, I'm trying to get in my beauty sleep before I have to take over the night shift, God knows Tucker isn't going to help protect this place. Then the man with the loud thing shows up. Mom says he is trimming the bushes. Hello?! It's winter, who trims bushes in the winter?! He is probably Tucker's friend and he came just to irritate me. I can't let him get away with this so I have to go from window to window and howl the entire time he is here. He is getting on my last nerve, I just want to sleep!

I am not happy at being woke up.

Finally he leaves and I snuggle in all nice and warm again. I hope he doesn't come back. I really don't like that man with the loud thing.

I'll just lay here until I drift back off to dreamland.

I flipped and I flopped until I found just the right position to lay my beauty in.

Mom says even the back of my head has wrinkles. I think she is being rude by stating the obvious. I'm sure she doesn't want me to say what I think about HER wrinkles!

All nice and comfy to sleep.

Friday, December 9, 2011

B-B-B-B-Bad...Bad to the bone!!!

Theme song for the day, with only minor lyric license taken by me, Lola:

On the day he was born
The pugs all gathered 'round
And they gazed in wide wonder
At the joy they had found
The head pug spoke up
Said "leave this one alone"
She could tell right away
That he was bad to the bone

Bad to the bone
Bad to the bone
Bad to the bone

I am being my ever so cute self today, not getting in any trouble, just lounging around, I may have picked that up from Mom, but anyway see how nice and sweet I am today?

The Chupacabra is a different story! He is showing his butt about right. I'm doing the Happy Dance, I'm doing the Happy Dance...Pug Style! Ok so here is the story and pictures to prove it.

Mom gets up and she isn't feeling well, you will have to read her blog to hear THAT story, just more documented proof the woman isn't normal. So she goes in search of medicine to make her feel better, doesn't find it, blah, blah, blah. But she does find this:

First he has put all his toys under the Christmas tree. Where does he think I am going to drop my glitter log with all that in the way?

Normally I would get blamed for this but this time she caught him in the act! Can you hear the excitement in my voice?

Now look closely and you sell see one of Mom's slippers under that tree too. See it? Right there, that dirty purple fuzzy thing leaned up against that oh so real looking tree trunk. Yep, pretty sure the ole' Chupacabra isn't suppose to have THAT!

But then...wait for it...

The DESTRUCTION begins...OMD I am just all a quiver with excitement! This is big news Puggies, he has finally been busted, stupid enough to be caught on film.

So Mom picks up all his toys and moves them back to his basket and reclaims her slipper. Now she isn't going to win any prizes for smarts here either considering SHE put that slipper right back in the spot he found it in the first place. Can we all say "I N V I T A T I O N"...

Look at him looking at her in disbelief that she is putting his stuff back. Also I want to make note of that prissy front paw, what have I been telling you guys? He is a flamer!

Now we put on the innocent face, he doesn't realize yet he was caught on camera, thinks he can cute his way out of it! Not this time buddy boy! The proof is in the pudding! For my non-English friends that means "He is soooo busted and we have pictures!"

Now here he reverts back to his haughty self with the Elvis lip when he figures out cute isn't working this time. Ha! Gotta give him credit though, he made her think he was ignoring her, wasn't going to have anything at all to do with her or her stuff.

She leaves him to pout for 15-20 minutes but unfortunately for him she sneaked back to see what he was doing, because he is her "baby" and she can't stand it for very long if he is upset about anything. She was probably going to make up with him, give him treats and love until he forgave her. That's her usual MO. This my Pugs is where it gets exciting! This is what he was doing when she returned:

See that face? THIS is why I call him Chupacabra! I see this a lot but Mom, well , she is still in denial.

Apparently he returned for the slipper to get back at her for moving his toys back to the basket. Nothing worse than a pissed off Chupacabra Chihuahua! Caught red pawed! 

So into his life of crime he was that he didn't even notice she was there. Go on, talk you way out of this one Turdley Tucker!!! As soon as Mom dries up those tears from having to watch the fall of  The Prince she is going to take care of you!

Do you get the importance of this my dear puggie friends? This is all caught on FILM, we now have documented proof that Tucker is a bad boy. Bad to the bone!

Chorus again please, let's all sing together now!

Bad to the bone
Bad to the bone
Bad to the bone