My Rebuttal To Tucker's Post

First let me show pictures to prove I was not in any way trying to eat the little rat. I do admit to having a strong impulse to doing so in the past and a few times attempted it. But Mom says we no longer have a choice because we are driving her crazy (Can someone please tell me how this woman can differentiate between what drives her crazy and what doesn't?  Let's face it she's just crazy. She is in denial and is going to blame us.). So she puts my leash and my pretty pink harness on, have I ever mentioned how beautiful I look in pink? It's my color, custom made for me.  Anyway she then brings us in the same room. Chupacabra isn't leashed or harnessed because according to Mom he doesn't have a criminal past of trying to kill me. Can we get a big round of applause for Mom putting my harness on upside down and not even realizing it until she looked at the pictures? There are some things in this world that just defy explanation, Mom is one of them. So I have my waist and body chains leash and harness on and am forced to "visit" with the Chupacabra. Here are the results of that visit.

See? Totally ignoring him while he is trying to chew his own leg off.

Giving him a "WTF are you thinking, Dude. You're going to need those things to run with if my hormones kick in and I decide you look good enough to eat again"

That's My Boy's arm, he's trying to let me know that he loves us both equally. Not a snowball's chance in hell!

Does he realize how much he looks like a rat?

Geez! One little move and My Boy grabs my upside down harness like he thinks I am Hannibal Lector. I was just raising up to see better, wasn't even attempting to jump the little rat.

Again, not in eat mode, just in breath mode, although considering my past I do understand how My Boy could confuse the two.

You do see him trying to antagonize me, don't you?

I rebuke you in the name of Jesus Satan dog!

Little shit ran back to the sofa and the protection of My Boy!

I can still reach you with my paw dummy!

Oh so you want to get all up in my face, huh?

Oh look, I can actually reach your whole body! Where you running off to now Jose?

So you want to try me in the floor again? I'm game. By the way, nice ass, if you were a pug I might be all over you.

Back to the couch, huh?  I'll just lick your eyeball out!

Awww hell, maybe I will just kiss you instead, we might could be friends after all.

Then it all fell apart, the friendship is over, not my fault this time, I was willing to give the Chupacabra a chance, well at least as long as I was on the leash. I really can't guarantee anything if that leash and harness isn't there. But this, THIS was unforgivable:

First the little rat did this, smelling my butt. Not acceptable!

Did you really think I was going to let you do this to me?  Friendship suspended until he learns better manners.