I knew it was going to happen. The woman has no will power. But like all things you don't enjoy I tried to ignore it, hoping against hope that I would NOT have to go through this horrible event again. But this morning soon after I woke up, and ate of course, Mom left the house rudely leaving me behind. About an hour later I hear the car and run for the window. Sure enough there was my Mom getting out of the car all smiley faced with a bag in her hand. As soon as she hit that car alarm on the remote I start to howl and scream as I usually do. The woman has no sense of direction so I feel it my duty to make a lot of noise so she can follow my voice to get to the front door. As soon as she gets to the door I start body slamming the door to let her know she is close. I am rather proud of her though, she managed to only drop the keys twice this time trying to unlock the door. I was excited, I mean it could be something for me after all, but that grin on her face made me more than a little suspicious. She settles in, takes the "what should be my package" to the couch with her, still with that blank grinning fool look on her face. Then she opens the box. My heart sank, it's going to be a repeat of that cold winter night a year ago....a night when I was totally abandoned, left on my own for hours, ignored....a night that took me weeks to recover from.
She has bought herself a new cell phone! I say: "But Mom it looks just like the other one"...she says "no it doesn't, this one has a 4.5 inch screen on it, two cameras, flash, it's 4G with LTE and it has gorilla glass!" It doesn't take much to please the simple minded. Wait...hold on a damn minute! Did she just say "gorilla"?!!! It's bad enough we have to live with Tucker, we don't need a stupid monkey here too. A visit once in a while from the ex louse is all the gorilla we need around here. Oh hell to the no! What is this?! The Boy got a new one too?!
Prepare for the worse puggy friends because he got rid of his beloved iPhone and has gone to the dark side of Android with Mom. He has always said "it will be a cold day in hell" or "the end of the world" before he switched from iPhone to Android. We now have to assume the end is near. I am gathering up my treats and stuffies just in case.
So I am in for a lonely evening, sitting on the couch watching Mom plays with that phone. I will give out long sighs, give her the sad eye, then the stank eye, fart a few times to draw her attention my way and whine. I'm pretty sure I am going to drop a glitter log on the Christmas tree skirt again too. So what if I can't say "Droid Does", that makes me no less important.
If that gorilla shows up you will hear me pug screaming in protest in all points north, east, south and west of me. Quite possibly in Canada and Europe too.
I am loving all my Christmas cards that have been coming in from all over, I just love my doggy friends!
I have more Mom is putting up tonight, or at least she was before the cell phone showed up.
Look what my friend Gracie sent me! Isn't that just the cutest thing, EVER? Mom was so excited she couldn't even wait to put it on the tree before taking a picture of it.