Sunday, January 29, 2012

Initiating a New Groomer Graduate

I get a little excited when I see my harness and leash so Saturday was no exception. I eagerly jumped into the car and even sat patiently waiting to be buckled in. It was a short ride and a dirty trick. We went to the groomers. I really like the groomer people but I hate having my nails clipped. Wanna squeeze out my butt juice? That's fine, doesn't bother me, knock yourself out! Wanna wash my face wrinkles? Yay, I like that, go for it! Wanna give me a bath? Hot damn, I LOVE that, let's get started! Wanna clip my nails? Prepare to die!!!!! It's going to be a fight and I promise you that neither one of us is going to come out of this looking good. I will make you wish you had chosen another career path.

There was a new groomer, she just graduated and I was going to be her first opponent client. She was all smiley and giggly, way to excited about grooming a pug. Mom was nice and ask her if she really wanted to take on a dramatic pug for her first experience. Normally she would just smile slyly and sit back and wait for the show to begin, but she hasn't been herself this weekend and she felt a little sorry for the girl since they gave her a pug for her first client so she wanted to give fair warning. The girl said "Oh, I love pugs, they are the cutest!" Mom said "Yes, they are adorable but I don't think you understand the breed, have you ever actually clipped a pug's nails before" The girl smiles all sweetly and says "No but I'm sure we will get along just fine, you worry too much." Did she really just have the nerve to say that to MY Mom? About ME, her baby? Yes, yes she did and that was her first mistake. Mom isn't feeling so sorry for her now, as a matter of fact now she doesn't even like the girl. Mom tells her she is only allowed to grind my nails (she wasn't going to let a first time groomer near me with clippers considering my ummm...nail clipping history). Then she picked me up, kissed me and whispered to me "Lola, just go in there and be yourself, show this lovely girl how much a pug likes to have their nails clipped" Then she sat back and waited for the show. I delivered.

Mom was in the waiting room sitting on the edge of her seat trying hard not to clap her hands in gleeful anticipation of what was to come. She didn't have to wait long. My butt hit that table, she leashed me and I let out the first ear shattering pug scream. The girl comes flying back into the waiting room looking like  the hounds of hell were chasing her and says "I didn't do anything, I swear, I just sat her on the table and put the leash on and she screamed. Oh my God, what do I do?" Mom looks at her cool as a cucumber and says "Well dear, since your so good at this and we ARE here to get her nails groomed I suggest you go right back in there and grind those nails." If the girl had a tail she would have tucked it between her legs for the long walk back to where I was at. This time I didn't even let her get in the room all the way before letting out a scream, she turned white and ran back to ask Mom to go in with her while she did my nails. Mom didn't mind a bit, she said later it just let her have a visual to go with the audio. So Mom stands in the doorway(she knew she could not console me anyway and getting close to me would only upset me more, we have been down this road before) and the girl slowly approaches me, I am all wiggly butt and tongue flicking so she thinks I have settled down and starts to baby talk to me. I lick her a few times to give her some false security, I like catching them off guard. She picks up my paw and I let out one of my best screams to date. She drops the grinder onto the floor and backs away. Mom tells her I won't bite, I am only going to fight and scream. She doesn't tell her how loud a screaming pug can get, she told me later that she didn't tell her that part because some things you just have to experience for yourself. The girl's confidence is by now duly destroyed but she is a scrapper, she moves back in for round three. From there the entire grooming session went like this: Pick up paw, pug scream, grind first toe, pug scream, rest, pick up paw, pug scream, grind second toe, pug scream, rest......repeat this for all four paws and each toe. At the end of 45 minutes we are done. I am covered in slobber and foaming at the mouth and you can just see the fear in the girl's eyes because she is terrified Mom is going to ask her to bath me next. She would never believe at this point that a bath would have calmed me right down so Mom doesn't even go there with her. The girl's cute little pony tail is now hanging limply off the side of her head with the bow unraveled, her shirt is unbuttoned, her lipstick is smeared and her mascara is obviously not waterproof since she now looks a lot like a raccoon. I couldn't care less, after all I got my nails groomed, I didn't kill anybody and I just want my after grooming treat. The girl is pretty shaky and Mom is afraid she will drop me so Mom moves in to get me off the table and get my treat. was beautiful....Mom slams the girl with "You did such a great job, I am going to ask for you personally when I bring Lola back.  She is going to need her anal glands expressed next time too."

Maybe she will think twice about telling any pug Mom that she worries too much.

On my way to initiate the new groomer. 

 *Note from Mom* A car accident claimed the life of someone in my immediate family late Thursday night, I have not been able to read or comment on all your blogs but I hope to catch up today. If I don't comment on each blog please understand.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

The Great Spaghetti Caper

First off I want to thank my good friends at Pug Possessed for my beautiful collar flower I won today! They are the bestest friends a girl can have! Thank you Chloe, Zoey, Rosie, Mary, Kiki, Stewie and Debra (the pug Mommy)!

Now let me suck up to Mom a little so she will forgive me for my little "relapse" (Mom says to forgive the quality of these but since I am not a posing pug she has to get them when she can and the lighting was bad):

Can we at least discuss this Mom?

I really am all cute and everything....

Mom, please! Even a serial killer's mother forgives them....

I'm really sorry Mom, how about if I kiss you?

I am very good with food, I have manners and everything. I never beg, steal or bother anyone eating and refuse to eat anything that is not in my bowl or handed to me.  But tonight I have had a small "relapse" and slipped back into my thieving ways. You can read about my past indiscretion with theft on the "Pet Smart Ladies and Things" post Mom put up tonight. She is airing my dirty laundry like she thinks I need to be on "American's Most Wanted" or something! Anyway, I'm starting my meetings back tomorrow to get this under control before I end up in pug prison. This is how it all went down:

Mom fixes herself a plate of spaghetti and garlic bread (she can do that since she has no man to sleep with tonight). She schleps into the den looking all raggedy (it's that lack of man thing again) and sits her plate down on the coffee table and then decides she has to go to the bathroom. Really Mom? You couldn't go pee BEFORE you fixed a plate of food, were you raised in a barn?! This happens all the time and unless Turdley Tucker is around (that boy is a hot mess when food is involved, worse than any pug I have ever seen) it is safe, I just ignore it. But tonight something was different and well....I snapped.  While she was gone I got on the table and ate her spaghetti, all of it. When I heard her coming down the hall I tried to jump down so she wouldn't know it was me thinking she would blame Tucker's Boy or ole' Turdley himself. How was I suppose to know I had spaghetti sauce all over my mouth and a noodle stuck to my face?

So pugs, Lola's Lesson For Today is:  If you want to put on the innocent face you have to make sure it is clean first!  Otherwise it won't work.

This is the second time in the last couple of weeks I have relapsed concerning my food manners. I think being around the Chupacabra Tucker is corrupting me.

This Is Your Pug On Spaghetti!

Pet Smart Ladies and Things Revisited

This was written close to a year ago and was on my other blog. I had a request to put it here and since it kind of ties in with the theme of Lola's next post I decided now was a good time to do it.

Let me wake myself up and I will retell the Pet Smart  story for my new friends.

Ok Pugs, gather around....I think I'm ready now....

Pet Smart Ladies and Things

Yesterday we went to Pet Smart.  I love Pet Smart.  There are all kinds of Things at Pet Smart.  Things on low shelves.  Things easily within my Pug reach.  Things I like.  Things I want.  I do love me some Things!
As we go in the door and I collected my usual treats,  kisses and hugs from the Pet Smart Ladies and caused my usual stir amongst the Pet Smart Ladies and the other customers.  Not many can resist a Pug face!   I own this, I'm proud of it and I use it to my advantage.   Yes, I am a Pug Ho!   I bask in the glory of my fans and humbly accept  that I am a STAR, if only in the eyes of the Pet Smart Ladies.  Others will soon follow.  If Charlie Sheen can have fans then I am confident that my indescretions will also be overlooked and my fan base will grow.  Who knows?  Some day,  I too may have a twitter account and post my ramblings on life, love,  the universe and all things in between.  Until then....I have my Pet Smart Ladies.  I do love me some Pet Smart Ladies!
I have learned if I look cute and act nice then I am going to surely get one of those Things on the shelves for my very own.  A Thing I can take home with me and play with anytime I want.  The Pet Smart Ladies are also going to give me extra treats, just because I am cute and nice.  I have also learned that passing a little gas from time to time in front of my Pet Smart Ladies doesn't offend them, it only makes them giggle.  If I act embarrassed about my "slip"  it only garners more attention which in turn garners me more treats.  Life is good.   I do love me some Pet Smart Ladies!
Yesterday while browsing the aisles I saw it.  A multi-colored stuffed mushroom Thing!   Now this is a Thing I had to have, no matter what it took I had to have that Thing.  Mom said that Thing was ugly and we would find another Thing.  But I wanted THAT Thing, it was MY Thing, it made me happy and when I am happy then the world is happy. That's just the way some Things work, they make you all warm and fuzzy inside.   Now I am not saying my Thing was better than other Things and next week I may find another Thing to make me happy.  But for me, right at that moment that was the Thing that made me happy.  I begged, I looked cute, I danced in a circle and still Mom wouldn't budge.  She left me no choice.  I grabbed my Thing off the shelf and ran with it.  Fast.  Amazing how many people will chase down a Pug thief in Pet Smart!  I was doing good, making my get-away until I came to the fish tanks.  I have never been able to resist the fish tanks.  Yesterday they were my downfall.  I may never again  look at them with the same love and devotion that I have in the past.  I was busted, caught red-handed with the goods in my mouth.  No use denying it, too many witnesses.  With sadness I turned my Thing over to the Pet Smart Ladies and went with Mom to look at different Things.  I do love me some Things!
Mom picks up some dog food, some treats, a Thing for me and another Thing for ole' grouchy Tucker, who by the way,  NEVER has to perform for his Things.  When ask about this Mom will only lower her head in shame and mumble something about dog bites, law suits and it being best if Tucker doesn't go around strangers.  I think he is running game on her.  Just my personal observation.  We go to the check out and there it is.  My Thing!  My beautiful multi-colored mushroom Thing!  My Pet Smart Ladies said I worked so hard for it they were going to buy it for me, and they did.  I do love me some Pet Smart Ladies!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

My Email from PetsDirect

On another post I had posted the link to PetsDirect about their free offer. I wasn't sure if it was good for one per household or one per blog. So I wrote to ask them. Today these nice people responded:


Sorry we were a while getting back to you, it's been a busy week her for us :). We couldn't possibly leave one of your dogs out, so we'll get both items sent out to you as soon as possible.

Feel free to let anyone know about the offer if they want some free stuff.

Kind regards and please let me know if i can help in any other way.

If you haven't visited them for your free offer yet, you really should!

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Mom! We have to talk....

There I am sleeping soundly, minding my own business......not getting into anything, not sucking on Mom's hair, not trying to eat Turdley Tucker, not dragging toys out......just being extra special cute......

All propped up on Mom's leg.....showing off my beautimus whiskers.....again please make note that I am sleeping and not bothering anyone.....

She can't stand it....she just can't stand it.....she had to wake me up!

Mom, please! Don't you have anything else to do or at least someone else to bother?

I give her a dirty look....I want to go back to my dream of  The Chippenpug Dancers.....

Obviously she is lacking in manners and continues her reign of terror.....

Do you think it will scare her away if I show her one of me teeth?

Guess not. What is it Mom? Just what is so important you have to tell me right this minute?

I should have known! The flashy thing.  You want to take my picture? Well, I refuse to open my eyes for this nonsense!

Might as well just roll over and give up!

God, this woman is insufferable with that camera, always in my face! Here's a face for you Mom, did you get that one?

Since kindness didn't work....maybe this will.....

Wait a that......

OMD......I think it is!

Yes, yes it's definitely fried chicken! You woke me up so I could lick your fingers and partake of that nectar known as fried chicken grease?  Awww....Mom......

I love you woman!

Friday, January 13, 2012

My New Award from Higgins and Nola!

I have received the Pawsome Blogger Award from Nola and Higgins! Thanks Trio! In order to accept this award, I must pass it along to 10 blogs that bring me fun, love, laughs and furiendship. This is always a hard thing for me to do and I usually just give it to everyone, this time I am going to try to stick with the rules just to prove to Mom that I can, when the mood hits me, follow a rule. You caught that "when the mood hits", right?

Thank you so much Nola and Higgins for this wonderful award and an even bigger thanks for your friendship!

In no particular order the 10 blogs I am passing this award to are:

1.  A Bowl of Noodles
2.  Minnie and Mack's Daily Digest
3.  Pugnacious P
4.  Kitty + Coco
5.  The Adventures of The Tank
6.  Tank's Two Cents
7.  I am Marlene, Hear me roar!
8.  Harry Pugalicious
9.  PUGnetwork
10.The Pugpant Chronicles

If your award isn't on this blog please check out my brother, Tucker's (gag) blog, he is giving out awards today too.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Great Freebie Offer From!

Guys you don't want to miss this one! If you follow Pet Blogs United , and you should cause it's a really great blog, you can get a freebie from! How exciting is that?

To get your free gift all you have to do is choose what gift you’d like from up to the value of £10/$15, then email them your postal address and item(s) choice to, and tell them where you’ve mentioned them on your blog/website. No postage or anything, these are some really nice people, don't you think? It's also worldwide for any blogger or pet blog owner!

I'm on my way now to choose my free gift! I may just have to rock some more pink camo!

 Don't I look like the pink camo kinda girl?

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Look what I found in Mom's closet!

A couple months ago Mom decided to suck it up and leave me uncrated for a few minutes while she was gone. She was all prepared to come home to massive destruction. Unfortunately she locked Turdley Tucker behind a closed door so I could not eat him while she was gone. *sigh* I fooled her and didn't bother a thing.  So now I can be left foot loose and fancy free while she makes short trips.

Today she went to the grocery, usually the vampire goes at night when I am already really sleepy , but today she decided to risk going up in flames and went in full daylight. She did come home in one piece, possibly due to the overcast rainy sky. Anyway, while she was gone I went exploring and hit pay dirt. You can't blame me. If you leave a closet door open I just might feel the need to see what is in there. I'm just sayin'. I approached that closet with some degree of trepidation, if you saw my Mom's closet you would understand my need for caution. I nosed around for a while, checked out all the shoes and a few boxes. I was amazed at the mountain of blankets and pillows at one end of the walk-in. Then I saw it, at the very top of that 4 ft stack of blankets. It was a wonder to see and I knew I had to own it. Sure someone else might have loved it before me, most likely My Boy, but it was going to be MINE now. So I climbed that mountain, all by myself, very carefully and grabbed it. I then climbed back down that mountain, I was so good at mountain climbing I didn't even knock them all over. Mom is still trying to figure out how I accomplished this feat with no help at all. I'm not going to tell her. A girl has to keep some mystery about herself to keep things interesting. I took my new treasure back to my playroom and jumped up on the bed with it. I was so engrossed in my new treasure I didn't even hear My Boy come in. This is what he found, of course he snitched and took pictures to show Mom:

I have my very own car!

Checking out the tires....

This is what I imagine I will look like riding around in my new car, windows down, the wind blowing my ears... 

Mom comes home and the boy shows her the pictures. She takes my car away explaining it was My Boys when he was little and she was going to keep it for him when he gets older.

So I try pouting....

I try ignoring her....she holds firm....

Thinking the game is over and she is winning I resort to the stank eye....

My Boy says to let me have it (he is a sucker for the stank eye) because he can't envision a time in his grown up life where that pillow will have any meaning to him or useful purpose and he has already forgotten where it came from or why he even liked it in the first place.  He tells her that kids don't really give a crap about those sentimental things from their childhood and if she keeps it she needs to be prepared to keep it for life because he is NOT taking it with him if he ever when he moves out. So my Mom did the most wondrous thing and gave it back to me! She may require therapy for this in the future when it finally dawns on her that she actually let go of something from one of her howler monkey's children's past, but for today I won and have my beautiful new car.

Back window looks fine....

May need some air in that back tire before I hit the open road but the headlights check out OK....

Now there is something that is bothering me, maybe you can help. Mom says I am being to vain and it's really not about me all the time worries me.

Do you think I need braces?