Why IS He Here?

I'm sitting here, distressed over the breaking news of the Sunflower Sisters being unjustly accused of damaging the Fire Hydrant Club.  To distract myself I have decided to watch Tucker, I am always trying to figure out just what his purpose is. Why is that boy here anyway? He does absolutely nothing but stayed glued to Mom all day and all night. I just see no reason for him. His sole purpose seems to be to irritate me endlessly.

My in depth report on his last 30 minutes:

12:15-he nibbles two or three bites of food, I realize that he is very small but really, is that even worth the effort?

12:18-OMD there is actual movement! He is barking at the doorbell, even though the wuss is doing it from Mom's lap.

12:22-stagnant again in Mom's lap, eyes open, head up

12:24-still in Mom's lap, eyes open, head down, he will give it up soon because she is massaging him

12:25-still in Mom's lap, he's out, sound asleep

12:30-still asleep, no reaction, except from Mom, when I slapped him in the head

12:32-he rolls over, stretches and goes right back to sleep

12:36-hilarious! He just rolled over and fell off of Mom's lap! The expression on his face is priceless, he is looking at Mom like she pushed him off. Now that made my day!

12:38-back to sleep, this time laying beside Mom in the chair

12:39-head jerked up, he hears the neighbors outside, one short bark and right back to sleep, he is so useless! A good dog would have at least run to the door and screamed a few times like I did.

12:43-still asleep, he can't even snore properly like I do

12:45- deep sleep, dreaming now, paws jerking and giving out short yelps in his sleep

You get my point? That is all he does, every day. He never tears anything up, never gets into tight places he can't get out of, he doesn't get upset if he sees Other Pug, he sleeps in only two places-on Mom or beside Mom, he sits very politely and rides in the car, he doesn't get up on the desk or the tables (he can't even get up in the bed by himself without his stairs, I guarantee if he was big enough he would get up on stuff too), he doesn't dig dirt out of plants, he doesn't try to knock over the trashcan (his loss, there is a lot of goodies to be found in the trash can!), he doesn't get his head stuck in Kleenex boxes, he poses for pictures (Mom thinks he is far cuter than I think he is), he doesn't steal out of purses (I admit I do have a problem with this), he doesn't start fights (sometimes, for his sake, I  have to stir him up, I'm afraid his blood will congeal if I don't). He's just here, but Mom loves him to death so I will keep watching.  Maybe he has hidden talents I just don't see. Maybe someday he will show me exactly what it is she sees in him.

Proof

How pathetic is this?

Just in case you missed him SLEEPING...

He is too lazy to even close his eyes all the way when he sleeps!

Wait...I see one eye opening...could he be waking up?

Yep, still asleep this time wrapped up in Mom's robe.

When he isn't sleeping he is yawning.

Mom did turn this one into a good Halloween picture though.