Don't Judge A Pug By The Size of Their Feet

 

I want to remind you all that it isn't polite to make fun of the size of a lady's feet. They provide me with a good foundation.

 

The wrinkles too Mom? You have to show my wrinkles right after you post a picture of my humongous feet?

Tagged Q&A

I was tagged by Higgins to answers a few questions about myself and my mom has joined in to also answer the same questions! 

 

1. Describe yourself in 7 words.

Lola: sweetheart, friendly, goofy, loving, beautiful, wrinkly, stubborn

Lola's Mom: Funny (at least others think so), excellent cook, protective, impatient, sarcastic,  friendly,loyal

2. What keeps you up at night?

Lola:  Barking neighborhood dogs!

Lola's Mom:  Major insomnia

3. Who would you like to be?

Lola: Well you can't perfect perfection so I guess I only want to be me.

Lola's Mom:  Sybil, the extra personalities might come in handy.

4. What are you wearing right now?

Lola:  My purple "Fabulous Diva" t-shirt because it describes me.

Lola's Mom:  Pajama bottoms with chili peppers on them and a red tank top. Hey, at least it isn't the snowflake robe!

5. What scares you?

Lola:  This could be a long answer! Car horns, closed bathroom doors, Halloween masks, one of the lamps in my house (I like the other IDENTICAL lamp), red shirts, school buses (only the yellow ones, I like the blue ones) the vacuum cleaner...this could go on all day...I'm pretty much a scardy cat.

Lola's Mom:  Insects and my stalker ever being released from prison

6. The best and worst of blogging.

Lola: Meeting all my new friends and getting to read about their daily life. I also love having the chance to ruin The Little Perfect Sweet Mommy Boy Chupacabra's name in a public arena.

Lola's Mom: I love getting to know other dog lovers that can understand the sometimes crazy love we have for these babies. I love all the new friends I have met. The worst part is not getting to actually meet all of them in person.

7. The last website I visited.

Lola and Mom: My Haven Graphics (Mom is starting a new blog with graphics, which is why my posts have pretty much sucked lately)

8. What is one thing I would change about myself.

Lola:  I would stop trying to eat Turdley Tucker aka The Little Perfect Sweet Mommy Boy Chupacabra

Lola's  Mom: To not have fibromyalgia and be able to get out as much as I use to.

9. Slankets yes or no.

Lola:  No!!!! Bad enough I have to look at Mom and Tucker in their matching ones, the thoughts of joining that club makes me throw up a little bit in my mouth. *gag*

Lola's  Mom:  Yes!

10. Tell us something about the dog that tagged you.

Lola:  Higgins is Mantastic!  I can forgive the fact that he is a Chihuahua.

Lola's  Mom:  I love reading Higgins blog, his Mom is so nice.

So there you have it!!  A little about Mom and me, Lola the pug!!

  

I was asked to tag 8 other blogs...here is my list...

1. Pupparoos!

2. PUGnetwork

3. Through the eyes of Tweedles

4. Pokeypotamus

5. Minnie and Mack's Daily Digest

6. The Art of Pug

7. The Pugs Strike Back

8. Sunshine & Mud Puddles

Helping Mom

Mom's still a little busy getting things back in order after Christmas company but I told her my friends would think I had run away or something and I really, really, really had to post some little something to let them all know I am still here.

I got stuff, lots of stuff.  Oh and the best part of all was the HAM and broccoli! I do love me some ham! Of course I didn't turn my nose up at the broccoli and cheese either.  OMD I also got pie, can you believe it?! Yep, Mom cut me a big ole piece of custard pie, it was so yummy. I'm gonna go snuggle up with her in a minute and see if I can't con her out of another piece of that yummy ham. Shouldn't be too hard I haven't seen the woman without food in her hands or mouth for about three days now. I'm really not buying her story that she has to taste what she cooks to make sure it is OK to serve. At this rate she won't be able to get off that couch at all in a day or two. It's already getting hard to tell the difference between her and those big fluffy pillows on the couch. She's probably going to need a food intervention.

I helped Mom a little today while she was straightening up, ignore her if she tells you I was mostly in the way.  I have no idea why she would think that.

 

First I was tidying up my play room...

 

Uh Mom...I think my toy fell....

Checking to see if the coffee table needs cleaning...

 

Yep, found something on the end table....good thing she has me to help her, she might have missed this....

 

Better check again, just to be sure....

 

Think I got it all....

 

Now for the cedar chest....

 

Nothing here....

 

Might as well move on to something else....

 

On second thought all this cleaning has made me tired....think I'll just take a little nap.

Addiction. It's Not Pretty.

I haven't really seen my Mom since she bought the evil phone. Well, I have seen her, but from a distance, because that stupid phone lights up like downtown New York and she keeps pointing it in my direction. I get that she likes the new mega camera in it but she could take pictures of the floor or anything else, why always me and Tucker? Ole' Turdley doesn't care but we all know he is of lower intelligence so his opinion doesn't really count in my book.

These were the first pictures she took of me, before I knew what the Flash Monster was capable of doing to me.

This is what I do every time I see her pick up that phone now, before that silly flash even goes off. I even do it if she just picks the phone up to move it or answer it.

This is what Turdley Tucker does. Yeah, the dim dummy poses!

Oh my pugs! I almost forgot to tell you about the most wonderful thing I discovered last night. Heavenly, I tell you! I never, ever bother things sitting on tables, unlike some Chihuahua that will remain nameless, because I can't even bring myself to type his name again. So I have to say I rather shocked Mom with this behavior. I guess when people say Coke is a powerful drug they know what they are talking about. I know it has me in it's grip on me and won't let go. I am now a full fledged junkie. I'm not proud of it but we all have our crosses to bear, I guess this one is mine.

The beginning of my addiction, seeking my drug.

The deal is made.

I score.

This is your pug on Coke!

It begins to take effect.

 

There I am passed out in the gutter. OK, well maybe it isn't quite a gutter, more like the couch. But you get my point.

Don't Do Drugs!!!!

All Hope is Lost

 

I knew it was going to happen. The woman has no will power. But like all things you don't enjoy I tried to ignore it, hoping against hope that I would NOT have to go through this horrible event again. But this morning soon after I woke up, and ate of course, Mom left the house rudely leaving me behind. About an hour later I hear the car and run for the window. Sure enough there was my Mom getting out of the car all smiley faced with a bag in her hand. As soon as she hit that car alarm on the remote I start to howl and scream as I usually do. The woman has no sense of direction so I feel it my duty to make a lot of noise so she can follow my voice to get to the front door. As soon as she gets  to the door I start body slamming the door to let her know she is close. I am rather proud of her though, she managed to only drop the keys twice this time trying to unlock the door. I was excited, I mean it could be something for me after all, but that grin on her face made me more than a little suspicious. She settles in, takes the "what should be my package" to the couch with her, still with that blank grinning fool look on her face. Then she opens the box. My heart sank, it's going to be a repeat of that cold winter night a year ago....a night when I was totally abandoned, left on my own for hours, ignored....a night that took me weeks to recover from.

She has bought herself a new cell phone! I say: "But Mom it looks just like the other one"...she says "no it doesn't, this one has a 4.5 inch screen on it, two cameras, flash, it's 4G with LTE and it has gorilla glass!" It doesn't take much to please the simple minded. Wait...hold on a damn minute! Did she just say "gorilla"?!!! It's bad enough we have to live with Tucker, we don't need a stupid monkey here too. A visit once in a while from the ex louse is all the gorilla we need around here. Oh hell to the no! What is this?! The Boy got a new one too?!

Prepare for the worse puggy friends because he got rid of his beloved iPhone and has gone to the dark side of Android with Mom. He has always said "it will be a cold day in hell" or "the end of the world" before he switched from iPhone to Android. We now have to assume the end is near. I am gathering up my treats and stuffies just in case.

So I am in for a lonely evening, sitting on the couch watching Mom plays with that phone. I will give out long sighs, give her the sad eye, then the stank eye, fart a few times to draw her attention my way and whine. I'm pretty sure I am going to drop a glitter log on the Christmas tree skirt again too. So what if I can't say "Droid Does", that makes me no less important.

If that gorilla shows up you will hear me pug screaming in protest in all points north, east, south and west of me. Quite possibly in Canada and Europe too.

I am loving all my Christmas cards that have been coming in from all over, I just love my doggy friends!

 

I have more Mom is putting up tonight, or at least she was before the cell phone showed up.

 

Look what my friend Gracie sent me! Isn't that just the cutest thing, EVER?  Mom was so excited she couldn't even wait to put it on the tree before taking a picture of it.

My Boy Came Home!

I just have to show you how excited I was when My Boy finally came home!  I just kept running around and around and jumping on him. Well except for the few times I had to stop and lick my butt. Even in moments of pure joy when the opportunity presents itself you can't pass up a good butt lickin'!

She Wants Her Boy!

I usually love it when Lola looks at me with that snaggle toothed face. Today, not so much.Today the girl seems to be on a rampage of epic proportions. I think she may be, in her way, protesting that Her Boy spent the night away from home last night. He has done this before so I don't know what is so different for her this time but she is clearly upset. She wouldn't sleep last night, made a total mess during the night and this morning is still in full temper tantrum mode. She has decided to sharpen those snaggly teeth by chewing on books and magazines, something she has never done before. If I get up to move she herds me toward the front door. When I refuse to go in that direction she launches into blood curdling pug screams, grabs my pant leg and tries to pull me there. When Her Boy isn't here sometimes she thinks he is standing right outside the door the whole time, out of her sight, and will sit there and howl for him. I think she is trying to get me to open the door and find him for her. I opened the door, showed her he wasn't there and all that did was bring on the most heartbreaking howls and the lower lip quiver she does when upset.  I am about to scream with frustration and have become so desperate for relief that I actually broke down and called my son begging him to come home early to calm her down. It's going to cost me money. Money well spent.

I love how the light caught this one tooth and made it stand out in the photo even more.

Barely peeping through her luscious lips here.

Now for the damage this morning:

No big loss here, just magazines but I really hope this isn't going to become a problem.

See those three stacked books? Well only one of them isn't mine, the one Lola chewed the corner up on, naturally. I don't know how many of you have ever had to buy any type of nursing books but they can be extremely expensive, so I guess I am lucky she didn't chew up my PDR.

Busted By The Glitter

I just regret you can't see how pretty my glitter looked but it didn't show up in the picture. I should have wiped that frosting off before going to sleep!

Last night I couldn't sleep. I think it was because My Boy was gone and I thought he was coming back and I needed to be in the living room so I could watch the door and give him kisses when he came in. Anyway Mom said I was circling her in the bed like a shark, over and over again. Sometimes when people are a little dense you have to use repetitive motions to get their attention. Finally after about 15 pass arounds she got the hint and we went to the living room. Mom fixed us a cozy bed on the couch, got me a nice treat and a cold Coke for her and we settled in to watch the "Get Off My Stage Steve Wilkos Show". Mom THOUGHT I might fall asleep in there. I KNEW she would. So I waited. It didn't take long and she was out.  I had the light of the TV to operate by so all was good.

I first decided to drag all my toys out of the basket. I keep telling her I don't want them in there. Their proper place is strung all through the house so that I have instant access to them at any time.

Once I got my toys all placed in just the right places I noticed a faint odor coming from the kitchen. Afraid that someone had sneaked in and was stealing my food I went to investigate. It was coming from the kitchen island. Since I was already this far into the investigation I thought I might as well go the rest of the way and see what it was.  I weighed my options and decided if I could get on the kitchen chair just right I could jump and clear the gap to the island. I made it and enjoyed a lovely cinnamon roll. I was polite and left the rest for Mom and The Boy. I even licked the top of all of them to "seal" in that wonderful icing.

Since Mom sleeps like a drunken sailor and there was absolutely no danger of waking her up I thought this would be a good time to get that bulb on the Christmas tree I want so badly.  I tried, but only managed to knock off two bulbs, still not MY bulb, so I just left them.

While under the tree the "urge" hit and I thought what a perfect time this would be to give Mom an early Christmas present. I left two perfectly formed pug logs on that beautiful Christmas tree skirt. I rather liked the way they looked laying there all shiny in the silver glitter. Beautiful, if I do say so myself!

So by now I was getting a little sleepy and all I needed was a wee sip of that Coke and I would be ready to turn in for the night. Who knew that little tiny hole in the can was not big enough for a pug tongue? I was forced to turn the can over and pour it out on the coffee table so I could get me a few good laps. I had no other choice. The Coke people really need to fix this flaw in their design. Make the cans more pug friendly.

I got on the couch with Mom and decided the most comfy place to lay would be in the middle of her chest. I love me some boob pillows! Soon I drifted softly off to sleep......

Mom apparently woke up and thought she was having an asthma attack because of the weight on her chest. She sat up really fast and unceremoniously dumped me off my boob pillows.  Realizing that she was in no immediate danger of dying from an asthma attack she had time to look around the room. With her eyes bugging out worse than any pug I have ever seen and her mouth hanging open rather unattractively she began yelling "Lola, what have you done?!" I looked at her with pure innocence in my sleepy eyes. I would have gotten away with it too except I tilted my head just right and Mom saw it glinting in the light from the lamp.  I was busted by the glitter on my face! She couldn't resist my cuteness and scooped me up for hugs and kisses.  She was laughing, hugging and kissing right up to the moment she smelled the frosting in my fur....

There Is A Difference!

There are a few misconceptions that I feel need to be cleared up in the best interest of all the Pugs in the world. I think it is time for a little education for those poor deprived and misguided people who are not owned by a Pug.

Spoiled vs Needs. There is a difference. We have needs, important and major needs. For instance I NEED to sit in Mom's lap while she is putting on makeup. I NEED to go with her every time she walks out the door. I NEED to watch the weather channel when begging to go with her doesn't work. I NEED the fluffiest pillow in bed at night. I NEED to attack Turdley Tucker when he is unfortunate enough to cross my path. I NEED new clothes, no self respecting lady pug is going to wear the same outfit twice! I NEED to de-stuff all my toys within 5 minutes of them entering the house. I NEED frequent treats to make me feel loved and wanted. I NEED that one bulb on the Christmas tree, that is my bulb and I will have it eventually, I don't care how high she keeps moving it up on the tree. I NEED to go to the bathroom with her, people this is my Mom we are talking about, do you really think she is capable of wiping her ass by herself? I think not. I NEED to jump in the bathtub while she is bathing, for pretty much the same reason, if she can't wipe her own ass I am pretty sure she can't wash it by herself either. I NEED to sit under her feet while she is cooking, I like a clean kitchen floor and it is my job to keep it that way. I NEED to see what is in that trash can, what if she throws some of my stuff away? I NEED to chew on Moms hair while we watch TV or sleep at night. I NEED to eat 26 well balanced meals a day. I NEED to lick Mom in the face after licking my ass. I NEED to have, at the very least, 1/2 of the couch when napping. I NEED to have my food bowl placed on that pretty pink mat. I NEED that fancy pink four poster bed that I never sleep in and Mom threatens to give away. We have NEEDS many, many needs but we are NOT spoiled!

The Scream vs The Bark . There is a difference. What, you would rather hear a bark? You think we should act like any other dog and just do a boring bark? Not me. I am going to scream and scream and scream. If the police show up again to see who is being abused in this house then Mom can handle it. She did good the first time I have faith she can do it again. I have learned a bark will get you a "Lola, be quiet" but The Scream gets you almost anything, instantly. They will jump through hoops to keep you from doing The Scream. If you can do it in the middle of PetSmart or the Vet's office it has even more effect. So fellow Pugs, chant with me now, Long Live The Scream! Long Live The Scream! Long Live The Scream!

Fat vs Fluffy Handles. There is a difference. Those are not fat rolls you see on us. They are kind of like the "Oh shit!" handles you see in cars. They make it easier to grab us as we whiz by in an attempt to escape out the front door, attack Turdley Tucker, snatch your candy bar off the coffee table and run with it, steal toys from small children and run, try to hide under the bed, catch us when we fall asleep in your lap and roll over suddenly, we would surely fall to our death if not for those "Oh Pug" handles. They are a convenience built in to us to make life easier for our Moms and safer for us. They are an important tool so use them wisely.

Educating Pugs vs Getting Into Things. There is a difference. This one is a little hard to describe and even harder to make Mom understand. I am not just getting into things. It is a form of self education. Just like a small baby explores the world with their hands and mouth, we Pugs do this too. I am a very smart girl because of this. I know the size and shape of Turdley Tucker's wee little head by exploring it with my mouth. I have learned about speed by simply chewing up a $1 and a $10 bill and observing the reaction of the humans, you chew faster if it is a $10 bill. I have learned compassion, I do feel sorry for Tucker when I chew up his favorite toys. I like to show him compassion so much that I try to do this at least once a week. I have learned "cause and effect" by chewing up all the iPhone chargers in the house. I chewed them "cause" I wanted too and My Boy had a fit because I did, creating the "effect".  I have never, not once, chewed up any of Mom's Droid chargers. I know if I do that "cause" I want too then Mom may use my treat money to buy another charger, again creating the "effect".  So many things to learn in this world!

Pug vs Chihuahua. There is a difference. What is up with those ears! We both have ears, the Pug ear however is perky and cute. The Chihuahua ear is rather like a satallite dish, they even rotate slightly when trying to locate sound.  The mouth. OMG have you ever seen that tiny, tiny mouth on a Chihuahua? Mom even mashes up this boy's food to help him out. I'm telling you the day I have to have ANY food mashed for me is the day I turn in my Pug Slut badge and will hang my head in shame at the doorway to the Sunshine Club! The walk. Have you ever noticed how a Chihuahua walks? They prance, like tiny little deers. The Pug prefers to just barrel on through like a tank. I am not prancing for anybody, it just goes against everything I believe in. The Pug is most definitely a superior breed.

These are just a few observations, I have many more but Mom is grumbling at me to hurry up because she has to go somewhere and needs me to wrap up this blog. I will most likely educate myself some more while she is gone....

that is after I finish my nap....beauty sleep is important.

Not Quite So Wordless Wednesday

I know it is Wordless Wednesday but this is my Mom we are talking about and I have never seen even that first sign that the woman knows the meaning of "wordless".

So I am wandering around in my bedroom, even though Mom calls it the guest room it has MY stuff in it so I say it qualifies as MY bedroom. Since Mom hadn't got in here yet to make the bed I decided to help. I did have to pause at one point and bark because Other Pug showed up, this time in the television screen. I'm going to catch him someday and when I do it won't be pretty!

Helping Mom make the bed in MY room. My shirt says "Born Fabulous" and you just know it's true! Oh and those aren't fat rolls around my neck, I prefer to say I am just a little fluffy.

After attempting to help Mom by making the bed I was really tired and thought a nap was in order.

Notice I am at the end of the bed? That's because I am still guarding Other Pug.

To hell with Other Pug, I need sleep!

I did enjoy that nap!

Time to clean the ole' face...

Hmmm....I think I need to get a little higher up...

No...no wait...maybe I need to go wider....

Think I will wander over here and see what Mom is up too.

Nothing very interesting, I will move on...

But not before letting Mom know how I feel about her letting people sleep in MY bedroom.

Kidnappers and Pumpkin Pie

What a weekend! Our company came and wonder of wonders they didn't even notice the clean carpet Mom obsessed so over last week. But they brought gifts! That was the important thing. I got a new lambie and a new green "Something". Mom says she will fill me in whenever she figures out what the hell it is suppose to be. Tucker got stuff too, but really who wants to hear about him? My Boy got some new game for that loud ass XBox he plays and it has even more death and destruction than the first part of the game did. Mom thinks he may be in training to be the next serial killer or interstate sniper to hit the newspapers. She says he is a Nancy Grace story just waiting to happen. Mom got gifts too. I find it amusing that she didn't analyze those gifts a little better. I think there was a personal message behind them. Either that or my Sissy is enabling Mom.  Anyway, Sissy bought her a new robe so now she can lay around the house in fuzz trimmed in satin instead of snowflakes. This is better, how? She also got some very expensive perfume. We all know you can't lay around the house stinking up everything. Somehow she just feels less lazy and more attractive when she sprays a little perfume on before taking up residence on the couch for the day. I say a bum is a bum no matter how you try to fancy her up!

There was some excitement here Friday night. The turkey tried to kill Mom. At least that is what I saw. It was in the oven and the house was smelling all pugalicious. About 3am Mom decides to go antagonize the turkey and it fought back. She pulled it out of the oven, pulled back the shiny stuff and poured some hot broth over it. Must have pissed that turkey off about right because as she was putting it back in the oven the pan tilted, the hot broth poured over both of Mom's feet, Mom screamed, Sissy thought she was being attacked by mysterious kitchen monsters and came running, she slipped in the grease on the floor and fell. Tucker and I are in heaven and having a floor licking contest all around the both of them. Mom looks at Sissy and Sissy looks back and they both just lay back on the greasy floor and dissolve into very loud laughter. This is when Sissy's fiance comes into the picture. He looks at the both of them and the mess and you can almost hear him thinking "This is what I am marrying into?". I am telling you the man had a look of pure fear on his face. Mom said he would probably sneak out before we all woke up the next morning never to be heard from again. He didn't, he was still there and I am sure he just can't wait to have Christmas with us.

The next day we loaded up all that pugalicious food and we went to Sissy #2's house for dinner. She gets #2 status in my book because she is a cat person. It's our family's dirty little secret, something we don't admit in public. I had pumpkin pie with whippy, I enjoyed it even if  The Thanksgiving Scrooge didn't give me the crust that should have come with it. I also had turkey. I almost hated to eat that turkey since I did admire it so much for putting up such a good fight the night before. But after all I am a pug and my admiration can only go so far. I also got some green beans and some sweet potato casserole, ole' Turkey Scrooge took the nuts off the top of that too. She said nuts are only good for causing trouble. She said she was NOT referring to her ex louse but I'm not so sure. After dinner and more visiting Mom, My Boy,  Sissy and Sissy's fiance came back to our house and settled in to watch movies. I just layed around the rest of the night and shared my essence in the form of farts with everyone close to me. But so did Mom (even though she did tried to be sneaky with it, ole' Tuck would stick up his nose and give her away every time) which may be the reason we were the only two laying on the big couch and everyone else opted for the floor. Me and Mom. We are a good pair. We get each other.

I did live under the threat of kidnapping for four days. Sissy and her fiance said they were going to steal me because I am so cute and cuddly. I must admit I was very impressed with all the body massages, toys, treats and kisses I got from those two! Not to mention I could do no wrong, everything I did they thought was so funny and cute. Of course I really showed off too knowing I had such a captive audience. They even made excuses for me a couple of times when I got in trouble. I'm pretty sure Mom didn't really buy the story that Sissy is the one that actually knocked the trash can over and licked the inside of all the cans that were in it.  I also don't think she believed that Sissy was the one that brought the dirty underwear into the living room and left it in the middle of the floor while company was here either. But it was nice of her to take the rap for me. They tried to sneak me out when they were leaving but Mom caught them. I had to stay with Mom, you all know her history, who else is going to appreciate and love her sluggish ways like I do?

It's all good.

Sissy likes to hold me, she says I am like holding a rag doll. Notice the tongue? I was getting sleepy.

She forced me to take this picture. The evidence is the blurry foot, I was trying to make my get away.

I give in, I'm too sleepy to fight the camera anymore.

Finding it hard to hold my head up. Why won't these people let me go to sleep?!

Nothing like a pug massage to relax you!

I can just sense it, she is moving in to kiss me...

Pretty sure she is admiring my beauty here...

She gives up and rocks me to sleep...

Now she is getting ready to lay down and cuddle with me. I love me some cuddles!