As I have gone through the last 11 months of my life I realize it is the end of an era. I will no longer be "months old", I will be "years" old. As I enter this more grown up phrase of my life I look back and recall a few random observations that need to be shared or explained. Let's start with the explanations.
First, the Pugtona. This is not just me racing through the house, my ears and jaws trying desperately to catch up with the rest of my body, with no purpose in mind. I do have a purpose. I like to do this first thing in the morning, and quite frankly several times throughout the day, because I am imprinting, taking stock so to speak. Making sure nothing has entered the house that might need my attention. You don't see me doing this because I am going at lightening speed through all the rooms, up and down the hall and behind furniture, but trust me I am computing. I have to go fast so Other Pug doesn't get there first.
I am NOT mean to Tucker as Mom claims. I am simply putting him in his place, something my Mom has failed at miserably in the last six years. It is nothing more than a teaching session in my eyes. The boy needs to adjust his attitude. The wind is NOT going to carry him off, although with those ears I wouldn't be a bit surprised if it didn't drop him several feet from where he started. The grass is NOT going to swallow him up never to be seen by us again. The rain does NOT burn his skin, I will admit to subscribing to this theory too, that boy has to be the antichrist., there just can't be any other explanation for him. The concrete will NOT destroy his tiny feet. Maybe I don't have to throw him to the floor and roll him across it with my head, but seriously, in the long run it will build his character. This, I firmly believe.
I don't "scream", I just loudly voice my opinion. That is my right. It's kind of like politicians and monkeys. The more noise you make and the further you puff up your chest and beat on it, the more attention you get. Even if your promises and threats are empty they still get attention.
Moving on to the observations.
I can eat a bowl of food in less than 2 minutes. I don't care who you are that is impressive!
I can snore louder than anyone in this house. So much so that Mom is threatening to teach everyone sign language so they can still communicate while I am sleeping. I do think the night she turned the close captioning on the televison was a bit snarky on her part though.
Stuffed toys are only fun if they can be destuffed within an hour of bringing them home.
Pig ears, who knew?! A culinary delight.! I do however wonder just who decided it was a good thing to give us dogs pig ears to chew on. I mean, that wouldn't actually be my first thought when trying to decide what to do with the left overs. We will not even discuss where the idea of giving us bully sticks come from.
Mom gets very embarrassed when I claim my territory by depositing a turd in front of new guests. What am I suppose to do? Sit there all cute,do nothing and watch my world crumble? It is not worth the risk of doing that only to discover that because of my weakness they want to eat out of my bowl, play with my toys, sleep on my bed or God forbid, touch my Mom. Simply put, it ain't gonna happen, no way, no how. End of story.
Tug of war with a Chihauhau is the ultimate confidence builder. I don't know what gives me more pleasure, letting him think he is winning and then at the last minute dragging him all the way across the floor or tossing my head and body slamming him to the floor right out of the gate.
I don't know who told humans that the bathroom is a private place, it isn't. It is to be shared with your beloved Pug. All doors in every house should be outlawed for Pug owners. They cause us too much stress. Until someone can give me a good reason for not going everywhere my Mom goes I will continue to do so. That lame excuse of "your NOT an asian jumping carp" everytime she gets in the bath tub will not do. Everytime she threatens to start taking showers I just want to say "Go for it big girl, I like rain too!"
I have discovered it is not a life threatening situation to have your wrinkles cleaned every day like I thought it was for so many months. It does not take away from my pugginess in any way and she is not actually removing part of my face. I'm still pretty afterwards, I'm just clean pretty!
I have learned that it is just as easy to pee on the pads as it is to pee on the floor. Granted, I don't get the same reaction and attention but I guess that is part of moving from the "months" to the "years". Sometimes you just have to take responsibility.
You can worry Mom for hours by simply letting your tail uncurl for a few minutes when your not sleeping.
Farting really can be a competitive sport when you live with a 16 yr old human male. Mom does not give out awards but does dissolve into giggles at the most intense time of the competition. Sometimes that distraction is all I need to take the lead.
The Pugtona is a good time to practice four legged human bouncing.
ALL the toys in the house belong to me, Lola. Not Tucker. If I say he can play with them then he can. Otherwise he must leave them alone. Except for that Ratty Possum Thing he carries around. The boy will sacrifice his health and well being to keep control of that one. Sure I could muscle him and take it anyway but I don't want to totally destroy his dignity. Plus he is really fast and his teeth are really sharp. I guess that Ratty Possum Thing is his "thing". To this, and only this, I will concede.
Pillows are a must when sleeping and one that someone else is already laying on are the best ones.
Remote controls and cell phones are the best sleeping companions. It is also fun to watch the humans hunt for them. Not so much so when they get smart and call the phone to find it. I will never get use to that sudden vibration and music coming out from under my body when I am in a deep sleep.
Walking or laying across the keyboard when Mom is on the laptop is a fun sport. I hate when she uses the desktop.
There is not a baby/dog gate on the market that I can't jump over, climb over or head butt my way through. I am rather proud of this.
Baby powder and Pugs are not a good mix. Even less so when you knock over a baby oil bottle at the same time. But to clarify, I did NOT run through the whole house, I only made it through 3 rooms and 2 beds before being caught. My personal opinion is they should really try to figure out why those things were in our house in the first place. We have no babies here people, therefore we don't need baby items!
I fail to see the importance between "button" and "rose" when describing pug ears. In the major scheme of things, does it really matter?
The crate is an evil that should be abolished in all 50 states and abroad. It is an international disaster of monumental proportions.
My Mom is harness challenged.
My Mom is very protective of me and Tucker. Almost rabid about it. To thank her I will cut down my Pugtona's from 6 a day to, maybe, 5 a day. I'll get that 6th one in when she leaves the house. What's Tucker going to do? Not sit in her lap for maybe 10 minutes of the day? Yeah, right. Like that is going to happen.
Being called "hoover" is not really a bad thing when it is the truth. Sometimes you just have to own your behaviors and make the best of them. I am Hoover, hear me snore! I don't think Helen Reddy will mind the play on words with her lyrics here.
Cookies are the bomb!
So what if I love everybody all the time? Look around you Tucker, who has visitors that rush to see them every time they come in the house? It's not you buddy boy, that would be me!
Hello, my name is Lola. I am addicted to The Weather Channel and ice cubes.
I have discovered that I DON"T like: closed doors,spoiled Chihuahua's, Flo the insurance girl on TV, elbows, being alone, Other Pug, doorbells, car alarms when they are armed or unarmed, the buzzer on the dryer, the microwave when it beeps, the vaccum cleaner, the blue curtain on the french doors, ceiling fan shadows, the garbage truck, doggy seat belts in cars, the red leash(all other colors are fine), one book in the bookcase, being ignored, the green food bowl, the boy's skateboard, Coke cartons, getting a bath, nail trimming, teeth brushing and I am not very impressed with snow.
I have learned a lot this past year. I'm a big girl now!