I realize that being a pug I may be a little more touchy about some of these concerns than other dogs are. However, I do feel I need to address them. I hear the comments and giggles when I walk by, I see the amused look on some faces and I have even heard someone ask my Mom: "Aren't those dogs mean?" Much to their regret I am sure, because my Mom launched into a speech that would make any speech professor proud. So to defend myself we will have a short Q&A today.
Q. "OMG Why is that dog screaming like that!"
A. Could be anything from me being hungry right this very instant, to being happy to see my Mom come home, to Mom shutting the bathroom door and daring to bathe without me. It's what we do. We scream. Get over it.
Q. "Think that dog has enough wrinkles?"
A. Quite possibly not, but that is how many I have and I wear them proudly. Bet you can't lay on your stomach and have your entire face disappear, now can you? It's natural camouflage, it provides us cover while we sleep in the hopes that your butts won't see us and ask more stupid questions.
Q. "Why is that dog's face all mashed in?"
A. Excuse me tall human, but from where I stand yours looks a little mashed in too. The only difference is, it is much prettier on me than it is on you.
Q. "One thing is for sure, she isn't a dainty looking dog, is she?"
A. I beg to differ. Have you ever seen me run the Pugtona? Pure grace in motion! I can make several laps through the house and never touch a thing. Ok, there was that ONE time when I bounced off the back of a chair and flipped it over, but I was off my game that day, everyone has a bad day now and then. Next question!
Q. "That dog is built like a tank."
A. Why yes, yes I am! It comes in handy when you want to plow people over that make rude comments.
Q. "Those eyes make her look half crazy!"
A. Sorry to disappoint but I am all the way crazy, nothing half about me! Again I refer you back to the Pugtona. Sometimes the crazy just has to come out and we run and run and then run some more.
Q. "Does she always make those noises?"
A. Nope, sometimes I make louder even stranger noises. My Mom says they are endearing and since my Mom is owned by a pug and you are not I am going to have to go with her assessment.
Q. "That dog looks like she eats you out of house and home."
A. I'm a pug, we love to eat. But to reassure you I just made a perimeter check and our house and home are still intact. Thanks for worrying about us.
Q. "Do you really think that frilly dress is going to make that dog any prettier?"
A. Of course not! It makes me beautiful, not just plain ole' pretty! When was the last time you saw thighs like this under a pink tutu? Silly you!
Q. "A tutu, really?"
A. Yes really. Big girls are beautiful too.
Q. "Damn, that dog is ugly!"
A. You may need glasses. Can you not see my beautiful curly tail, big doe eyes, to die for coat, sexy walk and lovely teeth? Throw in my personality and you have the total package!
I rest my case.