Thursday, October 27, 2011

I Am Soooo Not Happy!

I see Mommy running around getting things ready and I am excited.  When the suitcase comes out I know this means a trip or at the very least an over-nighter.  Even better if we are going on an out of town ghost hunt, I'm really good at ghost hunting! So I start gathering my stuff and putting it in once place to make it easier for Mommy to pack it up, that way I don't have to worry about her forgetting one of my favorite toys. Right away I can tell something isn't quite right because she isn't actually putting my stuff in my travel bag she is only moving it out of her way.  I start to get a little worried but I give her the benefit of doubt thinking she might just be going to pack my stuff when she finishes with her stuff.  Then I notice the dreaded crate.  It hasn't moved an inch.  Still sitting there in the corner with my pillows piled on top of it and my heart sinks.  See, that crate goes in the car first thing so she can pack around it.  Then the horrible realization sets in.  My Mommy is going out of town!!!!  I think I know where she is going because I see the camera's, the recorders and all the paperwork.  Then I hear her talking to the other team members about equipment, night vision, time and permission forms and now I KNOW for sure.  It is confirmed.  My Mommy is going on a ghost hunt out of town and she isn't taking me this time!!!!!  This is so not fair that I have to stay with the babysitter while she is out having all kinds of fun.  She says something about it being a private residence and she can't take a dog into someone's house, blah, blah, blah...   But I have been with her on investigations in private residences before so I am not buying her story, not one bit.  Besides, I am pretty sure the team has forgiven me for that little camera incident last summer.  Could it be that these people are anti-dog?  Will my Mommy be safe around anti-dog people?  Maybe these people don't appreciate what a fine pug mug I have, maybe they only like poodles or great danes.  Maybe they think I will nose around in their stuff (OK, I will give them this one, but that is beside the point).  Oh horrors,maybe they are cat lovers! At any rate it seems SHE is going and I am staying.  I am going to rock the pout face all night tonight!  Throw some major guilt on her.  Oh well, at least that demon Tucker can't go either.

I seem to be getting left out of things around here a lot this week. It's getting old.
 
Monday My Boy gets in the car and goes to the skate park.  Without me.  I kicked up a major fuss.  So badly that Mom had to call My Boy and let him try to talk to me on the phone.  Didn't work.  I just wanted him home.  She finally called and told him he had to come home before I drove her crazy.  I think she may be on to my game.

Tuesday they left me so they could go to the grocery store.  Hello?!  I would love a trip to the grocery store too you know!  I only take things off the shelves and run with them at PetSmart.  Have you ever seen how fast my beloved PetSmart Ladies can run? Amazing.

Wednesday she leaves me to go to the doctor to get some of the stitches out of her hand.  Yes, she is still milking that bite!  She really just needs to get over it at this point.  I said I was sorry!  I wanted to go so the doctor could see I am not really a Tasmanian devil like he thinks I am.  I am really a sweet, sweet pug who just got a little pissed off.  Momentary lapse on my part.  Tucker would piss anybody off, I am not alone in feeling that way either.  Just ask 99.9% of the people that come to our house and they will back me up on this claim.

Mommy has promised she will get off this computer and snuggle on the couch with me all afternoon today and all evening too.  We are going to snack,watch movies and nap a little too.  I do love snuggle time!  Even guilty snuggle time.  Hey, I will take snuggle time any way I can get it!

My Pout Face

Monday, October 24, 2011

Desperately Seeking Fun.....

Sometimes no matter how hard you look it's just not there and have to make your own fun.  So I set out to find some.

 Little floor sniffing....

Nothing there....moving along....

You got anything I can do Mom?

Guess I will just have to chew on My Boy's hoodie...


Saturday, October 22, 2011

Sunflower Club and Mommy

Mommy dropped in at Wilma's blog today to read about the Sunflower Club news she had posted.  I'm a Sunflower girl, you know.  Now, if you will excuse me a minute I have to say this loud enough for that nasty Tucker to hear in the other room...NO BOYS ALLOWED!  Whew!  I feel better.  Anyway she is reading about how good it is that Wilma isn't feeling any pain and is on the road to recovery.  She is commiserating with Wilma over the fact that her Mommy and Daddy came home smelling like meat and didn't bring her any.  Not cool Wilma's Mommy!  Just not cool.  She reads all about the wonderful Fred and Ginger Wilma's Mommy was helping.  As I was dabbing my eyes at that story and dreaming of the day when I can be Tucker's eye dog (oh the possibilities I see in this!) my Mommy is scrolling down the page and all at once she says "Lola, come here, this puggy looks just like you!"  Now who wouldn't be excited at that news?  I am beautiful you know.  So I come running over to see this absolutely gorgeous pug that Wilma has posted a picture of and.....well.....it's me.  My silly Mommy didn't even realize it.  She tried to blame it on the pain meds she is taking (she is going to milk that dog bite for all she can!) but I am not letting her off the hook that easy.  I mean this is ME.  She should have known ME.  So I have decided to stay right in her face all day today until I am sure she would recognize me in ANY situation or photo.  Going to be glued to her.  I'm going to do all kinds of pug antics so I can familiarize her with me from the front, back and sideways too.  I'm going to do the Pugtona so she can even recognize my blur. She eats, I eat.  She takes a nap, I take a nap.  Oh, I hope we nap in the soft, fluffy bed!  In pug words, if the woman moves, I am right there with her!!!

Not taking my eyes off of her!

Still watching you Mom!

Thought you could slip around behind me, didn't you?

Not a chance!  I told you that I would be keeping my eyes on you all day!



Salad? Who Eats This Stuff?! And Why?

So Mommy is sitting beside me last night and the noises coming from her would have made any pug proud.  I ease up, ever so slowly, to see just what she is enjoying so much.  It was a bunch of green crap mixed up in a bowl with a bunch of other not so appealing looking crap.  I smell of it.  Still nothing to get excited over, no  wonderful meat aroma at all.  I circle the bowl a few times, stopping occasionally to smell from a different angle. Nothing. Nada.   I gave her the pug eye, full of questions as to what this strange stuff is.  She says it's lettuce and kindly breaks off a piece to share with me.  I should have had my first clue when she got the camera phone BEFORE giving me the green stuff.  I will pay attention to those little clues the next time.

I take it gently in my mouth and go to my favorite spot on the couch to try it out.

I smell again, hoping it might smell better in my favorite spot.  It doesn't.

I shake it a little, thinking that might release the aroma.

Then I try chewing it....................

My final opinion....I was right all along, it is crap and only fit for human consumption.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

I May Be a Martyr!

While looking back through some pictures I realized today just how much I put up with around here.  Not all of it is caught on film, I'm too fast for that.  Since Mommy made me post that blog about biting her I think it only fair that I have equal time to redeem myself.  I give up a lot around here for the good of others.  I think I may even be a Martyr in this house!

The Many Ways I'm Nice

I always let My Boy take the first bite of something to eat before I put on my sad face and guilt him into sharing.  I'm nice like that.

I always let my Mommy choose the pillow first, I don't always agree with her choice and sometimes have to take it away from her, but it's the thought that counts.  Right?

I wait patiently for Mommy to take the tags off my new toys before I destroy them.  My little way of saying "thank you" to her.

I never, ever steal food straight out of their hands like Tucker does, I politely wait until they leave the room.

I only jump in the bathtub with Mom once or twice now when she is bathing, I use to just jump in and out the whole time she was taking her bath.  That is a major accomplishment for me.  I'm still working on that "screaming when the bathroom door closes" thing.  But hey, at least I'm willing to work on it!

I have eliminated the coffee table on the course of the Pugtona.

I have not ate a cell phone in months now, although that new Android looks pretty shiny to me. I will win this battle and continue to resist.  After all, I am an iPhone lover and refuse to go to the dark side like Mommy did.

I no longer scream at every person that walks in the front door.  I realize now they are NOT all the devil coming to take me away forever.  But that kid with the funny hat that hangs out with My Boy?  Yeah, I'm still not so sure about him.  I swear his eyes really do glow red when Mommy's not looking and yesterday I think I heard him growl.

I let Mommy play her beloved Bejeweled on her cell phone whenever she wants now. All I ask is that I be allowed to sit as close to her as possible and lick the screen from time to time.  I really don't think that is asking too much.

I no longer collapse into fits of hysteria when the ice maker drops a load of ice into the tray.  I now suffer in silence.

I don't hunt bugs outside to kill anymore.  I leave them alone until they come to me.  I realize this could just be laziness, but until I'm sure I will list it as one of my redeeming qualities.

I snuggle my Mommy anytime she wants.

I give the best Pug kisses in town!

I rock my pj's.

I love My Boy beyond all reason!

I only ate half of the stick of margarine my Mommy dropped on the floor, I could have been rude and sucked the whole thing down before she got to me, but I didn't.

I happily share my beloved popcorn.

I always howl at scary movies to protect my Mommy from whatever might come out of that screen and snatch her.  There is just something about a nicely made up zombie that scares the beejeezus out of me!

As long as he stays in the fireplace, behind the glass doors, I will continue to let Other Pug live here.

I stopped tearing up and eating toilet paper in front of Mommy.  I prefer to do this in private now so as to not cause my Mommy's heart to race too fast and make her out of breath while she runs to try and catch me. I'm only thinking of her.

I don't make a mad dash and grab things out of the refrigerator every time they open the door any more.  I sit by and quietly wait until one of them leaves it open long enough to turn around and get something off the counter before I move in.  I feel this is only common manners that every pug should exercise.

I don't take all my Mommy's money out of her purse, only the bills.  I always leave the coins for her to use in  the vending machines if she wants too.

I could go on all day about my redeeming qualities, like all pugs, I have so many there just isn't room to list them all.



My Boy messing with my ears,he says it gives me that "French Bulldog Look"

Then I give him a big kiss!

My mesmerizing eyes!

Again, those eyes!

This one isn't very clear, but Mommy loves it anyway.  Snuggling is good!

Now, if you will excuse me, this Martyr needs a nap!








Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Wordless Wednesday-Bedtime

Bedtime For Me

Mom starts real close....

Moves back a little...

Little more....

And farther still....

There!  Now she has all of my beautiful self!

Thanks to my friend Noodles for letting me know about blog hop!  Oh, this is gonna be sooo fun!







Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Just Hanging With My Boy

Since Mom is still a little out of commission over the whole hand ordeal (hanging my head in shame) I have been spending a lot of time with my boy the last two days.  One of my boys favorite past times is taking goofy pictures of me.  He also gives me plenty of extra treats and a lot of love.  Because Mom still doesn't bellieve I am fully capable of writing this blog without her help and it's hard for her to type she has talked me into just posting a few pictures today that my boy took.

As I said, I was hanging with my boy....believe it or not I actually LIKE doing this.

Love me a good remote control to cuddle with!

Napping with my niece,  Jordyn.  I love this girl!

Sometimes I can tolerate Tucker long enough to take a quick nap!

That's my green stuffie.  De-stuffed....of course.  I prefer my stuffies to be flat.

I always stick my tongue out when I get sleepy.  You are getting sleepy....sleepier....

you are now...Asleep!!!

Monday, October 17, 2011

I Was A Very Bad Girl!

First off I need to really, really, really apologize to my Mommy.  I didn't mean to do it, I would never hurt my Mommy or anyone else on purpose, well except for Tucker.  As soon as her Demerol wears off we're gonna kiss and make up.

This is what happened:

You see, I have this thing about Mommy going to the bathroom by herself, actually I have a thing about Mommy going anywhere by herself.  So Mom goes into the bathroom and I noticed she was gone so I went looking for her and as soon as I saw her I saw HIM (Tucker, the chihuahua) too.  That made me really mad that he got there first so I decided to beat him up.  He is a LOT smaller than me and Mommy was afraid I would hurt him so she jumped in to save his sorry butt and by accident I bit her instead.  Three times, really fast.  But I didn't know I was biting my Mommy, I thought I was biting that nasty chihuahua. Two of them were very deep and Mommy had to go to the emergency room.  It took 10 stitches to close the first bite and 4 stitches to close the second bite.  The third bite wasn't very bad and the doctor said it will close on it's own.  But she had to have a bunch of shots and Xrays  too.  We won't know if  her hand is broke until tomorrow.  I don't think that doctor believed her about me not having germs because he is making her take antibiotics for a whole month.

That should be the end of the story, but unfortunately it isn't.  My boy had to drive Mommy to the ER and back and I really missed him while they were gone.  They gave Mommy a lot of pain medication so my boy was helping her get settled when they got back and I got too excited over seeing my boy again and jumped up when he was leaning over and busted him in the nose with my head.  I hit him so hard it made his eyes leak.  It's gonna leave a mark.

I'm gonna try to be extra special good today to make up for everything.  I have a good Mommy, she didn't even yell at me.  Even said it was her own fault for getting in the middle of two mad dogs.  She isn't mad at me or anything.  Of course that could be the pain pills talking, she does seem to be very happy right now.

My poor Mommy's hand

Saturday, October 15, 2011

The First Year-Explanations and Observations

Since my 1st birthday is coming up soon I thought I should share what all I have learned this past year.








As I have gone through the last 11 months of my life I realize it is the end of an era.  I will no longer be "months old", I will be "years" old.  As I enter this more grown up phrase of my life I look back and recall a few random observations that need to be shared or explained.  Let's start with the explanations.


First,  the Pugtona.  This is not just me racing through the house, my ears and jaws trying desperately to catch up with the rest of my body, with no purpose in mind.  I do have a purpose.  I like to do this first thing in the morning, and quite frankly several times throughout the day, because I am imprinting, taking stock so to speak.  Making sure nothing has entered the house that might need my attention.  You don't see me doing this because I am going at lightening speed through all the rooms, up and down the hall and behind furniture, but trust me I am computing.    I have to go fast so Other Pug doesn't get there first.
I am NOT mean to Tucker as Mom claims.  I am simply putting him in his place, something my Mom has failed at miserably in the last six years.  It is nothing more than a teaching session in my eyes.  The boy needs to adjust his attitude.   The wind is NOT going to carry him off, although with those ears I wouldn't be a bit surprised if it didn't drop him several feet from where he started.  The grass is NOT going to swallow him up never to be seen by us again.  The rain does NOT burn his skin, I will admit to subscribing to this theory too, that boy has to be the antichrist., there just can't be any other explanation for him.  The concrete will NOT destroy his tiny feet.  Maybe I don't have to throw him to the floor and roll him across it with my head, but seriously, in the long run it will build his character.  This, I firmly believe.
I don't  "scream", I just loudly voice my opinion.  That is my right.  It's kind of like politicians and monkeys.  The more noise you make and the further you puff up your chest and beat on it, the more attention you get.  Even if your promises and threats are empty they still get attention.
Moving on to the observations.
I can eat a bowl of food in less than 2 minutes.  I don't care who you are that is impressive!
I can snore louder than anyone in this house.  So much so that Mom is threatening to teach everyone sign language so they can still communicate while I am sleeping.  I do think the night she turned the close captioning on the televison was a bit snarky on her part though.
Stuffed toys are only fun if they can be destuffed within an hour of bringing them home.
Pig ears, who knew?!  A culinary delight.!  I do however wonder just who decided it was a good thing to give us dogs pig ears to chew on.  I mean, that wouldn't actually be my first thought when trying to decide what to do with the left overs.  We will not even discuss where the idea of giving us bully sticks come from.
Mom gets very embarrassed when I claim my territory by depositing a turd in front of new guests.  What am I suppose to do?  Sit there all cute,do nothing and watch my world crumble?  It is not worth the risk of doing that only to discover that because of my weakness they want to eat out of my bowl, play with my toys, sleep on my bed or God forbid, touch my Mom.  Simply put, it ain't gonna happen, no way, no how.  End of story.
Tug of war with a Chihauhau is the ultimate confidence builder.  I don't know what gives me more pleasure, letting him think he is winning and then at the last minute dragging him all the way across the floor or tossing my head and body slamming him to the floor right out of the gate.
I don't know who told humans that the bathroom is a private place, it isn't.  It is to be shared with your beloved Pug.  All doors in every house should be outlawed for Pug owners.  They cause us too much stress.  Until someone can give me a good reason for not going everywhere my Mom goes I will continue to do so.  That lame excuse of "your NOT an asian jumping carp" everytime she gets in the bath tub will not do.  Everytime she threatens to start taking showers I just want to say "Go for it big girl, I like rain too!"
I have discovered it is not a life threatening situation to have your wrinkles cleaned every day like I thought it was for so many months.  It does not take away from my pugginess in any way and she is not actually removing part of my face.  I'm still pretty afterwards, I'm just clean pretty!
I have learned that it is just as easy to pee on the pads as it is to pee on the floor.  Granted, I don't get the same reaction and attention but I guess that is part of moving from the "months" to the "years".  Sometimes you just have to take responsibility.
You can worry Mom for hours by simply letting your tail uncurl for a few minutes when your not sleeping.
Farting really can be a competitive sport when you live with a 16 yr old human male.  Mom does not give out awards but does dissolve into giggles at the most intense time of the competition.  Sometimes that distraction is all I need to take the lead.
The Pugtona is a good time to practice four legged human bouncing.
ALL the toys in the house belong to me, Lola.  Not Tucker.   If I say he can play with them then he can.  Otherwise he must leave them alone.  Except for that Ratty Possum Thing he carries around.  The boy will sacrifice his health and well being to keep control of that one.  Sure I could muscle him and take it anyway but I don't want to totally destroy his dignity.  Plus he is really fast and his teeth are really sharp.  I guess that Ratty Possum Thing is his "thing".  To this, and only this, I will concede.
Pillows are a must when sleeping and one that someone else is already laying on are the best ones.
Remote controls and cell phones are the best sleeping companions.  It is also fun to watch the humans hunt for them.  Not so much so when they get smart and call the phone to find it.  I will never get use to that sudden vibration and music coming out from under my body when I am in a deep sleep.
Walking or laying across the keyboard when Mom is on the laptop  is a fun sport.  I hate when she uses the desktop.
There is not a baby/dog gate on the market that I can't jump over, climb over or head butt my way through.  I am rather proud of this.
Baby powder and Pugs are not a good mix.  Even less so when you knock over a baby oil bottle at the same time.  But to clarify, I did NOT run through the whole house, I only made it through 3 rooms and 2 beds before being caught.  My personal opinion is they should really try to figure out why those things were in our house in the first place. We have no babies here people, therefore we don't need baby items!
I fail to see the importance between "button" and "rose" when describing pug ears.  In the major scheme of things, does it really matter?
The crate is an evil that should be abolished in all 50 states and abroad.  It is an international disaster of monumental proportions.
My Mom is harness challenged. 
My Mom is very protective of me and Tucker.  Almost rabid about it.  To thank her I will cut down my Pugtona's from 6 a day to, maybe, 5 a day.  I'll get that 6th one in when she leaves the house.  What's Tucker going to do?  Not sit in her lap for maybe 10 minutes of the day?  Yeah, right.  Like that is going to happen.
Being called "hoover" is not really a bad thing when it is the truth.  Sometimes you just have to own your behaviors and make the best of them.  I am Hoover, hear me snore!   I don't think Helen Reddy will mind the play on words with her lyrics here.
Cookies are the bomb!
So what if I love everybody all the time?  Look around you Tucker, who has visitors that rush to see them every time they come in the house?  It's not you buddy boy, that would be me!
Hello, my name is Lola.  I am addicted to The Weather Channel and ice cubes.
I have discovered that I DON"T like: closed doors,spoiled Chihuahua's, Flo the insurance girl on TV, elbows, being alone, Other Pug, doorbells, car alarms when they are armed or unarmed, the buzzer on the dryer, the microwave when it beeps, the vaccum cleaner, the blue curtain on the french doors, ceiling fan shadows, the garbage truck, doggy seat belts in cars, the red leash(all other colors are fine), one book in the bookcase, being ignored, the green food bowl, the boy's skateboard, Coke cartons, getting a bath, nail trimming, teeth brushing and I am not very impressed with snow.
I have learned a lot this past year. I'm a big girl now!

Other Pug

This is me, turning my nose up at "Other Pug"


A couple of days ago I am walking through my house, minding my own business, doing a few laps at the Pugtona, showing Mom how I can jump high enough now to get the doorknobs in my mouth(soon as I figure out how to turn them the world will be mine!)when suddenly out of nowhere I see it.   Ohhhh, it tried to be sneaky and hide behind the glass fireplace doors.  But being the Ninja Pug that I am I was too fast for it.  Caught it red handed, staring at me!  I barked at it and it barked back.  I backed off to regroup and get my thoughts together.    I planned my sneak attack with military precision.  I got down low, my belly almost touching the floor  and started to advance toward it.  I moved, it moved.  I backed off again, watching motionless to see what it's next move might be.  But it's a wiley creature, it stopped too.  And continued to stare at me.  Then I looked closer and finally saw what the mysterious creature was.  A Pug!!!   A Pug was in my fireplace!!!   I saw no other choice, I had to defend my position, so I charged it.  Then something strange happened.  I went face first into some kind of force field that was protecting Other Pug from me.  I was thinking if I can't get in then maybe Other Pug can't get out, so I ran.  I ran fast!  I needed to get to the safety of Mom's bedroom.   Just as I turned the corner to safety I saw it.  It was waiting on me. This time hiding behind the mirrored doors of Mom's nightstand.  Other Pug and I stared each other down for what seemed like an eternity.  I decided I was going to have to be the one to break the staredown.  I barked, Other Pug barked back.   No wait......Other Pug was moving her mouth and showing her teeth like she was growling  but no sound was coming out.  Just what is this strange Other Pug?   I made a run for under Mom's bed where I hid out until Mom turned off the bedroom light.  I had a tough decision to make.  Should I stay hidden from Other Pug, alone in the dark or should I make a mad dash toward the lights in the kitchen where Mom was at?   I was weighing this decision very carefully, after all my life depended on it.   Then I heard it.   The treat bag rustling in the kitchen.  No time for choices then, I made a mad dash down the hall toward the lights of the kitchen, Mom and the treat bag.  Other Pug was NOT going to get my treats!!

I think I am winning this war, I am positive now that Other Pug is scared of me.  She won't come out of the fireplace or out of Mom's nightstand.  Just to be on the safe side, every time I go by I take the time to stop and bark at her.  It's important to show her my strength.  Keep her afraid to come out.  Be unpredictible to throw her off balance so she will never be sure if I am going in after her or not.  Yep, Other Pug is definately afraid of my Ninja self!

Mom says this is the face I have when I see "Other Pug"

I think I will ignore that silly "Other Pug" for a while and take a nap.


Just Me and My Bone

Mom has an issue with my bone.  She constantly mumbles something about  bone chips and marrow in her bed.  The way I look at it is if she shares the bed with me she shares it with all my toys, treats and most of all my beloved bones.  She is a sneaky one, my Mom.  Here she caught me in the act:


I didn't think she was looking so I quietly went up the stairs at the foot of the bed with my bone.

I get my self all comfy in anticipation of a good chewing session.

Then she swoops in.  This is my sad face.  After she took my bone away.

I really don't get it.  I always go back and clean up the chips and marrow the next morning.  It's not my fault I like to sleep with them for a night first.  She also complains about the wet stuffed animals I chew on too.  It gives me a feeling of peace and security to see all my favorite things around me during the night.  If I indulge myself in a little sucking and chewing on the stuffies who is she to say it is disgusting?  I think she should just be glad I stopped sucking on her hair when she is asleep.  Trust me, she can NOT rock the rooster doo!  Besides, I don't complain about sleeping with her cookie crumbs.  Yeah Mom, I noticed you sneaking that cookie in bed!  But I'm polite, I didn't make a fuss, just quietly cleaned up your crumbs the next morning.  You did buy more cookies today, didn't you?



Pictures of Me!

What's a pug blog without pictures of me!

The first time I met my new family:

The very first picture my Mommy took of me when she came to the breeder and I chose her!  I was only 4 weeks old in this one and already adorable.

My first day home:

This is the day my Mommy brought me home.  Don't I look bad in that hot pink skull and crossbones sweater?  I know, I know, I told her it looked ridiculous!

We had to stop by the vet on the way home for my first check up.  It was cold outside and my Mommy made me wrap up in this scarf.

My very first picture in my new home!  I was a little unsure of this new place.

Soon I was playing with my boy and Tucker.  

It didn't take me long to get tired and I passed out in mid play.

I slept a lot the first few days:

I had some unusual sleeping habits.

Mom says this face is so kissable!

Even though I am a big girl now I still sleep with my tongue out.  It's a pug thing.

I was so tired here I didn't even get all the way on the pillow.

I never seem to get "all of me" on a pillow!

I'm bigger now but I still like to sleep in unusual positions and places.  This is my all time favorite place to nap!

Watching things:

I like to watch TV with my boy!

Watching Mom cook dinner, just in case she drops something.

A little sleepy but still keeping my eye on things.

I can even watch things upside down!  I'm talented that way.

Mom loves Pug butts:

My tail.

Because Mom is a little crazy.